Getting to Yes With Yourself (And other Worthy Opponents)

How can you expect to get to Yes with others if you haven’t gotten to Yes with yourself?

The greatest obstacle to successful agreements and satisfying relationships is not the other side. The biggest obstacle is actually ourselves—our natural tendency to react in ways that do not serve our true interests. But this obstacle can also become our biggest opportunity.

William Ury’s Getting to Yes with Yourself offers six proven steps to get what you really want in life. The effective tips, strategies, and techniques in Getting to Yes with Yourself can be used by everyone, every day, in every situation.

In Getting to Yes with Yourself, you’ll learn how to:

  • uncover the inner obstacles that are keeping you from getting to Yes
  • reach positive agreements with others
  • develop healthy relationships
  • make your business more productive              
  • live a more satisfying life

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What People Are Saying

“We have met our enemy at the negotiating table—and it is us. William Ury has written a much needed prequel to his classic Getting to Yes. In Getting to Yes with Yourself he ably demonstrates—with examples drawn from his long career as a consultant and from his personal experience—how to avoid sabotaging ourselves when we’re in a dispute. If you adopt the winning strategies in this book, you’ll come out ahead in business and in life.”

Daniel H. Pink, author of To Sell Is Human and Drive

“William Ury is a true master of his craft. Wise and realistic, noble and practical, brilliant and approachable, Ury has created a definitive body of work on how we can get to yes in our conflicted world.  Here he turns to the hardest negotiation of all: with ourselves. Yet again, Ury has done a tremendous service with his book.”

Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, and co-author of Built to Last and Great by Choice

“William Ury untangles challenges that bedevil even the most experienced negotiators: how can I get what I want when I don’t know what I want?  How can I move from being my own worst enemy to my own best ally? Along with Getting to Yes, this book may be his most important contribution to the fields of negotiation and conflict management.”

Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen, authors of Difficult Conversations and Thanks for the Feedback

 “In life, the most difficult negotiations are the ones we have with ourselves.  William Ury, one of the masterminds behind the classic Getting to Yes, sheds light on how we can reach more satisfying and successful agreements with the person in the mirror.  With his signature blend of stories and sage advice, he offers a wealth of practical insight for improving our decisions and our relationships.”

—Adam Grant, Wharton professor and New York Times bestselling author of Give and Take

“Many women struggle with lack of confidence, and now I understand what to do about it. In Getting to Yes with Yourself, William Ury shares an approach that builds confidence and connection in a way that will leave you feeling energized and fulfilled. Every woman and man will be more effective by starting within before entering negotiations with others.”

Joanna Barsh, director emeritus, McKinsey & Company, and author of Centered Leadership


Other books by William Ury include Getting to Yes, The Power of a Positive No, Getting Past No, and The Third Side.